Ben's graduation

Introducing Rev. DOCTOR Benjamin Shear LCDR Chaplain Corps, United States Navy!

This is the commencement ceremony.  We were thankful we didn't make the trip down for the ceremony after seeing the weather they were sitting through!  Live-streaming in our own home was much better!

I hate how youtube makes anything shorter than 30 seconds a short now, but here's our side of the ceremony:

YouTube Short

We had a little celebration at home, in between basketball and going to friends' and work (aka life with teens).

I am so proud of Ben.  Beyond working on a dissertation in between counseling sessions, he picked a topic that needs to be addressed that few are even aware of.  I'm proud of his bravery to go against the grain and stand up for what is right.  I'm proud of his diligent work and I have already seen fruit from it and how it's blessed others around him.  He also did this all without telling anyone (okay, he told a few people) and with MINIMAL help from his advisor (like, we were legit concerned the guy had died a few times!).  That fact makes this all the more amazing: his advisor said that he was more hands off because Ben didn't need his help and his paper was the best he's read in 25 years and it will now be the example shown for future students AND he has encouraged Ben to have a version of it published!

{Here's his abstract for the dissertation}

Pastoral Counseling in Naval Chaplaincy

Answering the Demands of Pragmatism

Chaplains from Reformed and Presbyterian denominations serving in the
United States Navy face the challenge of balancing their call as ordained ministers
with meeting the institution's demands. The Navy is a pluralistic institution that uses
chaplains to provide for the free exercise of religion and increasingly expects
chaplains to care for service members through pastoral counseling as a form of
subclinical mental healthcare to keep them "spiritually fit."

This research delves into a twofold predicament. First, it investigates the
demands and constraints inherent in the ministerial role. Second, it examines the
pressures compelling chaplains to adopt a pragmatic ministry model. This study
offers a critique of pragmatism as it relates to institutional counseling ministry and
provides an analysis of the tension it creates for ministers from the Reformed and
Presbyterian tradition.

To relieve the tension between the duties of a minister and the demands of
pragmatism, three alternate biblical modes of pastoral counseling are examined:
mercy, apologetics, and evangelism. Each of these modes has four accompanying
tasks as an expression of the ministry of the Word: instructing the ignorant,
counseling the doubtful, admonishing the sinner, and comforting the afflicted. The
three modes culminate in the tri-modal pastoral counseling framework, a pastoral
counseling method where a minister meets a non-Christian's spiritual needs as a
private ministry of the Word by manifesting God's kingdom through general and
special revelation. This framework offers an alternative to pragmatism when
counseling non-Christians that is consistent with a Presbyterian and Reformed
theology of ministry and is effective at meeting immanent and transcendent spiritual
needs.

 

If you're wondering...

What Ben's been up to...well, he's been busy!

He finished his dissertation!

We'll have a graduation party May 4th, but I still had to document the day that it was printed and mailed off.  Hmm, I'm not sure the correct order of the titles, but very soon it will Doctor Reverend Lieutenant Commander Chaplain Shear.

Also, he's put his new birthday gifts to good use and created some videos of his hikes.  He's gone a few recently while traveling for work.  You can check out his youtube page here, but here is his most recent video.

Ben's Promotion

It was a big day!  We've waited for a year for Ben to pin on as 0-4 and were so excited when the day finally came.  Unfortunately, there were a lot of people out of town on the day and not able to make it, but I was still overwhelmed with gratitude for those who joined us in the Tun Tavern.  Will Stevens from our new church even came and helped take some pictures.

After the ceremony, all the marines lined up to shake Ben's hand.

Then it was time to celebrate!

Congratulations to Lieutenant Commander Shear!

We picked the kids up dinner and then headed out for our own little celebration.  We ended up at The Onion Tree in downtown Sea Cliff and then stopped by the concert in the park.

When we got back, we all had some cheesecake from the French bakery.  

I could write pages on why this day was a big deal.  While most just see a change of a pin, I see so much more.  I see the years of hard work and sacrifice.  I see all the lives that Ben has impacted and some literally saved.   I know there are so many parts of Ben's job that no one will even know about, that he carries on his own.  This day was a great opportunity to celebrate my favorite person and all that he has done.

Ben's Birthday

Happy 37 to Ben!

Poor Ben.  He has a history of having not exciting things happen on his birthday (like unpacking a house), so we made plans to make this year extra special.  We made big plans to go up to San Luis Obispo for the weekend and it was going to be amazing.  Then the rains came and we saw that rain was forecasted to continue for the next week and would ruin all the fun things we had planned for the weekend, so we decided fairly last minute to postpone the trip.  Praise the Lord we did, because then the world stopped.  I survived grocery shopping to get stuff for a breakfast and dessert.  I made him bacon, eggs and hashbrowns for breakfast and then we went for a run.  It stopped raining just long enough for us to run 7 miles for his 37th birthday.

Ben and Alison played basketball in the afternoon and then he taught be how to skateboard.  We had a lot of fun!  We only bought a few little things for Ben since we were supposed to be out of town, but he was so gracious with what little he got.

 

 Colin wrote Ben a birthday card...can you believe how long he is now?!?!

We went to Lure Fish house for dinner, which was delicious as always.  

 

We were surprised to find the restaurant felt normal, especially because we could see Walmart Marketplace from the window that was anything but normal.  I'm so glad we were able to go, because just 2 days later, they closed down all dine-in restaurants.  Maybe next year we'll get in a big bash for Ben.

Family news & our trip to CA

We will be moving to the Ventura, California area in December.  Ben will be stationed at Point Mugu, which is about 45 minutes north of LA and south of Santa Barbara.  We are looking forward to making a trip up there in the next couple of months to get a lay of the land and already dreaming of the beach life.  Talks of living in California came up quite a bit on our weekend trip to Carlsbad.

Eli and his entourage ready to hit the road Saturday morning:

Ben was running in the Carlsbad 5000 (America's fastest 5k) on Sunday, so our first stop was to pick up his race packet and we got bagels for lunch at a local bakery.  I don't think our kids have ever had bagels like that...it's so sad that they are growing up without an Einstein's bagel.

Next stop, was car shopping!!!  We are researching our next family vehicle and needed to see a few options in California that Yuma doesn't have.  I think we may have a winner!  This momma is SUPER excited, but Alison is feeling very sentimental about our trusty old minivan that she's basically grown up in.  We may have lived in a lot of houses in her life, but we've always had that van.  And let's be honest, they just don't make seats as comfy as this van anymore.

We *had* to stop by REI afterwards, tried Pure Burger for dinner and then headed to the beach to watch the sunset.  It was cold, but the kids didn't care for a second.

Ben and I were freezing, like teeth chattering freezing.

How are kids immune to cold?

My favorite:

Sweatpants, long sleeves, bare feet and building sandcastles.

Sunday morning, we all went down to the race, bright and early.  This was a BIG race, so we had to park pretty far away from all the action.  We had scouted out a park, parked there and I let the kids play a bit while Ben warmed up and headed to the start line.  This zip line was their favorite.  We saw a lot of runners heading to the race while we played and Alison said, "Mom, you're going to love California because you won't feel left out anymore...everyone runs here!" (i.e. we never see any one run in AZ.  We barely see anyone outside, period.).  So yes, I am looking forward to being around fellow runners more and I do love that active community feel.

Waiting for daddy to run the race:

This was the most dramatic race I've ever seen.  A train track ran through the course and runners crossed it twice.  Racers were told that no trains were scheduled for that morning, but if one did come through, they would obviously have to stop and wait.  So, there was forewarning and communication about the possibility and safety precautions taken.  There were also races going all morning as they were broken up by age groups and elites.  Ben's race starts and there's one person leading the race, with a pack of about 6 runners a little behind him.  The final stretch of the race was a slight downhill, turning from the road that followed the ocean.  The first runner turned the corner to come down the hill, everyone started cheering and the announcer was going crazy...and then the train rails start lowering and the whole crowd started saying, "NOOOO!!!".  Two police officers had to stop the runner from attempting to sprint in front of the train and I am so glad they did.  A train went full speed through the course and it was not slowing down for a millisecond!  By the time the rails raised up, the pack following the leader had caught up to him and they were all standing there waiting.  You could tell everyone was very gracious and still let the leader sprint to the finish and be the winner, but it definitely ruined a good race for at least 10 people.  Thankfully, Ben was not affected by the train and finished 66th overall!!!  Look at the time on the clock! 

It was an amazing race and so fun to be a part of a lively crowd, who were equally as excited as I was.  The kids would still say I cheer too loud, but it wasn't as embarrassing this time.

2 free beers for the runners.  They had to stay in this gated area to drink, so Ben looked like a toddler in a playpen, waiting to get out.

The kids climbed a tree while they waited.

When we got back to the car, the kids wanted just a few more minutes at the park.

After lunch and checking out of our hotel, we were back on the beach.  I was not planning on the kids playing in the sand like they did, so it was a messy day.  Lesson learned; always plan for playing in the sand.  I rolled up the boys' pants, but it didn't matter.  They got completely soaked and then covered in sand.

You can see Eli sprinting through the water in the background:

While sitting there, watching our kids play, Ben asked me if I will be able to handle 3 years of this.  My answer is a big, fat, YES.  Three years of perfect weather every day, ocean air and kids jumping in waves.  I think we will be doing a lot of sea life studies in school, because I am going to be spending a lot of days by the ocean.

Ben's Birthday!

Happy 35th to Ben!!!

Ben took the day off work and requested to hike Telegraph Pass as a family.

A fun family fact: when we hike, one of the kids will get VERY chatty.  It's not always the same kid, but nature must bring out deep thoughts for them.  This day, it was Colin.

My favorite picture of the day:

The boys were very excited that they got to "rock climb" on this adventure.

 

Poor Alison was woken up for the event and only able to grab a quick bite before leaving, so we had to stop on the side of the mountain to refuel and cool off for a minute.

 

 This was just another reminder to me how incredibly strong and courageous our kids are.  There are not many adults who climb this mountain and yet, here our kids were, hiking away because it's what their daddy wanted for his birthday.  They would do anything for him.

Can you see the square of Yuma in the distance?  It is so crazy that we live in that square in the middle of the desert. 

 

The walk back was long and we ended up carrying the boys for awhile.  Actually, I think Ben even carried Alison for a little bit.  At the end of it all, I was so proud of our family.  Ben had a great time and now whenever the kids try to tell me they can't do something, I'll just remind them about the day they hiked Telegraph Pass.

 Maya giving her "Happy Birthday's" to Ben:

Back home, Ben opened his presents.

Ben smoked a brisket for dinner and I made him a German chocolate cake.

It took my legs a few days to recover from this birthday but it was worth it to celebrate the amazingness of Ben.