That's my kids...

Eli is constantly into something...literally.
Yesterday he got stuck in the kitty cube. I heard him hollering, "HELP! HELP!" and found this:


Alison is constantly talking.
On the way to the grocery store this morning, out of the blue, she asked me when she could get a tattoo! What?! I told her never because God made her beautiful just the way she was and she didn't need to change a single thing. I asked her why she was thinking about tattoos (I don't even know how she knows about tattoos!), and she said, "They're just so pretty".

Last night Ben was giving the kids a bath and he made a comment about how great brothers are to Alison. Then he said, "maybe you"ll have TWO brothers!" Alison said, "NO! I'm having a sister." Ben asked her how she knew the baby was a girl and she said, "I just decided I wanted a sister, and here she is!". Ben asked her what she was going to do if the baby wasn't a girl. She said, "Well, then I lost my chance."

Day after Christmas

The day after Christmas, we stayed in our pj's pretty much all day, sipping tea and relaxing. Ben and I put together my Christmas puzzle and watched Elf.

The kids played with all their new toys and played songs together on the piano.

It was good to enjoy a little more Christmas, especially on a day that I wasn't feeling so sick. All the rest gave us just enough energy to put away all the decorations and get the house cleaned the following day.

Christmas Day, 2011

Alison and I were up at 6 am. We watched Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Movie until the boys got up at 7. We opened stockings and I have never seen a little boy so excited about a sock full of food. He was so happy that the whole day, there was food everywhere! His hands were constantly full of some goody.




We opened presents and ate tea pastries. Ben and I were surprised we actually finished before church...the grandparents went a little overboard.

Ben won this Barbie guitar at his Youth Group white elephant gift exchange. It was the first toy the kids have fought over. I'm just impressed we've made it this far without fighting and it's kind of funny how much Eli wants that Barbie guitar. Alison was pretty funny when she opened it. Amongst the excitement, she said, "Daddy! Now I can play with you at church!" I'm excited to see her play and I love how the cheapest (or free) gifts are the ones they love the most.



We survived church. Honestly, I was feeling horrible all day and barely made it through church. And while we're being honest, I'll just let it be known that I let Eli play the ipod and eat fruit snacks the whole time. We had pigs n' a blanket and a cheese ball for lunch and then we slept the afternoon away.

Our sweet friends, the Yoakum's, had us over for Christmas dinner. It was so nice to not have to worry about cooking dinner and our kids are always greatly entertained over there. Although I wasn't feeling well, it was a great day of fellowship. I loved seeing the kids' face light up and seeing a smile on my hubby's face.

Christmas Eve

I was a little nervous about Christmas Eve day. What do you do with 2 anxious kids for an entire day, while they wait for the Eve? Thankfully the day went fairly smoothly. We decorated some more cookies, watched a movie, got some gifts ready and just relaxed. I was also thankful that I was feeling well enough to cook a real Christmas Eve dinner. Okay, I cheated on the applesauce, but everything else was the real deal. We had 'Perfecto Pork', Nonny's mashed potatoes, applesauce, green bean casserole and cherry jello. Alison requested the jello and I thought it was a simple, yet festive desert. I will NEVER again serve red jello on Christmas.


The kids were ecstatic about the jello. However, we ate a very early dinner so Ben could get to church and the jello had not set all the way. It was edible and jello-y, but still kind of runny. Eli's face was stained the rest of the evening from that stinkin' jello. And even after I got him cleaned up and into his fancy outfit, he kept sneaking back into the kitchen to get more jello. Never again. And yes, Eli ate Christmas dinner in his PJ's.

After a fabulous dinner, we let the kids open their new "fancy" Christmas outfits. Don't be fooled by the gift. I confess that Eli's was a hand-me-down I grabbed out of his closet and Alison's I got on the clearance rack at Target the night before. But, they didn't know and had fun opening an early present.


I had high hopes of continuing my tradition of getting a cute picture of my kids by the tree. Alison kept giving me her "this is how a princess poses" look that just looks goofy and Eli's face is red. But regardless of the situation, they are my precious gifts and I am so thankful that they are here and healthy.



After our pictures, we headed to church for a "family friendly" service. We walked in the door and Eli shouted, "DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!!!". Yep, I knew that one was coming. He could not get over Daddy being on stage. It took everything in me to hold him back from running on stage. Alison burst out in dance during 'Joy to the World', Eli asked for juice over and over until I gave him a sucker that dripped all over me (did I mention I made the mistake of sitting in the first row?) and I was exhausted by the end...just in time to do again the next morning.

Christmas Time!

I was very excited about the Christmas season this year. One my all time favorite things to do is watch Christmas movies by a lit tree and fire and work on a puzzle. My expectations had to be greatly adjusted this year as I found that every time I started an activity or movie, it was always interrupted, either by sickness or tiredness or little hands. But we did what we could. The house got halfway decorated. Cookies got halfway made. Movies got halfway watched. The border was done on the puzzle and then swept back into the box. But we enjoyed time relaxing together, reading Christmas books, listening to Christmas music and just soaking in the season.

I tried to make things with the kids that were traditional, but that they could help me make. We started with peanut butter cup cookies. Then we mixed up some Chex Mix. I LOVE the smell of chex mix roasting. It's definitely one of my favorite Christmas smells.We made a few gingerbread men and Alison decorated the snot out of them one morning while Eli watched his new favorite Christmas movie, 'Baby Einstein's Santa'. She wasn't happy about getting her picture taken, but the mess I cleaned up when she was done would prove that she really had a good time.
Kylie and Logan came over and helped us make some more gingerbread cookies and chocolate covered pretzels.We decorated ornaments, strung popcorn for garland and wrapped presents. We watched 'Charlie Brown Christmas' I think 7 times (it came on a particular day I was sicker than normal) and 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Christmas movie.

Alison spent a good 2 days working on a Christmas card for Kylie and Logan.
I was overwhelmed by her determination and drive to write this. She knew what she wanted to say and would ask us to spell out words for her. Here's what the letter says:

Kylie and Logan,
Have a good Christmas. Have a good time opening presents at the Christmas tree. Have some fun with your family. I love you. I want an American Girl Doll and pillow pet for Christmas.

love,
Alison

I guess Alison wrote our Christmas card for us this year, because I'm not going to even attempt one. So from the Shear's, we hope you have a good Christmas!!

I'm Done

For the peace of mind of our concerned friends and family, I just wanted you all to know that I'm doing much better. The doctor had me come in yesterday to check my blood pressure. Everything is very healthy. My nutrient levels are excellent, my blood pressure is perfect. Apparently I have an abundance of progesterone in my body, which is causing the extreme sickness. It also causes the blood vessels in my body to expand which affects the blood flow in my body (sorry to all the medical professionals that are reading this, I know I'm totally botching this explanation)...which caused my near pass out episode. The doctor said what I'm experiencing is actually very common in pregnancy, I just have had two un-normal, easy, pregnancies, so this seems bazaar. All that to say, he said I don't have to cut back on anything, I just have to drink way more water than I think would ever be necessary to keep the blood flow in my body "regular".

I heard the baby's heart beat and that was it. I'm done. I'm done complaining about being sick. I'm done hanging on to expectations. I'm done with all the things that I thought defined who I am. I am who God made me, not what I make myself. So, bring on the sweatpants, piles of laundry and dirty floors. Bring on the heartburn, nausea and nights full of trips to the bathroom. I'm ready. With a smile on my face, I'm ready.

I'm excited to meet this Surprise Blessing. I'm excited to see Alison and Eli's face when they meet their new sibling. I'm even a little excited to hear Ben's name suggestions if it's a boy.

Some day I'll be smiling at a picture like this:

and thinking, "I can't imagine life without this baby!", because I sure can't imagine life without this precious little boy.

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. I know if you are reading this blog, that it means you love and care about my family, and with that comes reading about our ups and downs in life. There will be highs and there will be lows, and I'm thankful for the support through it all.

13 Weeks

On the positive side of this pregnancy, Alison has been saying some pretty cute things. One evening she said, "I'm SUPER-D-DUPER excited about the baby coming!". Then she said, "So mommy, when the baby comes, you'll be a nurse, right?" It made me laugh so hard. Oh the joys of explaining nursing a baby to a 4 year old. She's very perceptive when I'm not feeling well. She'll usually say something like, "I think a cracker will make the baby feel better" or "I think a nap will make the baby not so fussy". It always makes me smile that she thinks the baby's cranky and that's why I'm sick. However, if that's the truth, I'm not super-d-duper excited about meeting the baby.

Ben's theory of why I've been so sick is that the baby has brown eyes. Both our babies have my blue eyes and he would love nothing more than a baby with his eyes. I would love to give him his wish and I sure like his theory better than Alison's cranky baby theory.

Reading time

Here's a glimpse of Alison's reading lesson. She's doing awesome, and this particular day I really noticed things start to click. She started recognizing more words without having to sound them out, or if she did sound it out, she did it in her head.

Beginning of the Second Trimester

I was planning on posting this today:
(insert cute picture)
I feel like things are just getting worse. I was counting down the days to 12 weeks, so I could finally be over "morning sickness", but here I am at 13 weeks sicker than I was a couple of weeks ago. I'm nauseous less, throwing up more...not sure which is better. I've been taking Zofran pretty much daily now and it's a praise that I can keep it down now. Being that I've never had morning sickness, I realized this week that my situation is not usual. Most people are sick for an hour and done. If I'm sick, it's for an entire day. I'll have one whole day of being sick and the next I might be okay. But if I wake up sick, I know that's how the whole day will be.

One night I was just overwhelmed by feelings of everything going wrong. I can't cook, clean, finish a school lesson, keep up on the laundry, work out, do Christmas activities with my kids or even remember to pay our bills. Ben sat me down and asked me to think back about my life when I was pregnant with Alison. I was working a desk job and would be in bed by 6pm. He helped me realized how different life is now and how I have to let go (which is SO extremely hard for me to do) of the expectations I put on my self. He said that I needed to stop cooking and cleaning and go to bed when the kids do. I needed to hear those words, but I still tear up thinking about it. I don't want to stop! I want to have a clean house and healthy meals and have everything that needs to be done, done. I didn't think things could get much worse.


And then they did.
This morning I woke up feeling a little queezy but I was determined that it was going to be a FUN day. I had promised Alison we would bake and decorate gingerbread men this afternoon and then we had a much anticipated Christmas party this evening. I took Zofran right away to ensure today would be "safe" and had some cereal (usually a safe breakfast). We headed to the Y and I was excited to be at class again. I even had a moment in class where I found my self thinking, "this is great! now I can put under my cute prego picture that I just took a bootcamp class!" Yes, I'm realizing that God is stripping my pride away through this trial. I should say that I modified all exercises during the class and didn't do anything that I felt was unsafe. After class, I was talking with some friends and sharing with them that I was SO over this morning sickness thing. All of the sudden, I got hot. Like on fire hot. I thought I was going to be sick, so I rushed to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I quickly realized that something was not right. My vision got blurry, I could barely hear and felt like I was going to pass out. I got out of the bathroom because I knew a secluded bathroom was not the place I should be. Thankfully God put my friends right outside the door and I fell into Autumn's (the group Ex coordinator) arms. She said my face was completely white and she pretty much carried me into Pete (the Y director's) office and told him to call 911. By that time my hands, feet and face were completely numb and I could barely breath. I kept saying I was hot, so Joe found a fan and Autumn just covered me in prayers. I was SO SO thankful that these people knew me well and loved me. They all know our family and knew to call Ben right away. I'm also SO SO thankful that we live in a small town and Ben was there in a matter of minutes. By the time the EMT's arrived the color and feeling was coming back to my body. I must say that I was not overly impressed with these EMT's or the staff at my doctor's office. The EMT's took my vitals and my blood pressure was significantly low. They said they could take me to the emergancy room, but they felt like it was all because of being pregnant. Because I've been so sick, I don't have enough nutrients in my body and am most likely dehydrated and then the baby takes what nutrients I have. They felt by exercising, I used up calories my body doesn't have and essentially made it shut down. Awesome. The doctor's office just told me to go home, rest and eat/drink as much as I can. And if anything else happened to go straight to the ER. The nurse kept saying, "you just need to stop exercising." I was so frustrated with her! Like I'm still jogging while passing out?! It wasn't about exercise at that point, it was about if me and the baby were okay! Ben brought me home and stocked me up on power bars and gatorade. He's made me rest all day and even took Alison to work with him (to finish up a couple of details) while Eli napped. I still feel weak and a little light headed, but supposedly that will go away as my body catches up.

It still leaves me very emotional. I already felt like I was failing at everything and now I'm even failing at taking care of an unborn child. Again, I am SO thankful for people in my life to speak truth to me. I know as God is taking me through this, the Devil is prowling around me, speaking lies to me. I don't want to believe the lies, but I don't know what I am doing! If I eat, I throw up. If I take my vitamins, I throw up. If I exercise, I pass out.

Many, many, many people have offered to help, which I am immensely thankful for. But why is it so hard to ask for help when you need it? I find it hard to know exactly what I need help with and who to ask and when to ask. Is this normal? Is it normal to find it hard to let go of things you want to do and ask someone to do them for you? I feel so weird calling someone up and asking them to take care of my kids or cook me dinner, but is that what I need?

All that to say, you can be praying for us. Praying that my kid's will be resilient as many things will be left undone this Christmas season...I guess this will really help keep our focus where it needs to be. Pray that I will be able to let go and it will be clear to me where people can help me. Pray for Ben as he has to encourage me and take care of all of us. Pray for the baby, that he/she is healthy and getting all the nutrients he/she needs.

Sorry, no picture for now and maybe not for awhile. Maybe someday I'll get out of my pj's :)

Ben's Commission into the Navy

Ben was offered a commission into the Navy last month, the kids and I threw him a surprise "CONGRATULATIONS!" party.
He's worked really hard on this and it's something he's wanted for a long time...we are so proud of him!

Monday we made the trip to Richmond for Ben to take the oath of office to become an officer (Ensign) in the United States Navy Reserve. He's a Champlain candidate until he finishes school.

After taking the oath, he had about an hours worth of paperwork to sign. I wasn't prepared for this part of the morning, but I was super thankful that kids can easily be entertained by random things found in a purse. First, we took some pictures.
Then we made silly faces with sunglasses and talked about what Christmas activities we wanted to in the next couple of weeks.

Then a very kind, but clearly not-a-father, Officer, gave the kids 2 small Navy bouncy balls. Thanks. I spent the rest of the time trying to convince Eli that throwing balls at other Officers was not polite and then asking Alison to chase the rolling balls all over the office. Yikes! I'm not sure what he was thinking.

A lot of people have asked how I feel about all of this. I feel good about it. I know it's a positive thing for our family and just one of many accomplishments Ben will achieve in his life. The slight anxiety I occasionally feel only comes from the unknown of life. But, that unkownness comes from everything, not just a Navy life. I don't know what next several years looks like. I don't know what being a mom of 3 is like. I don't know where we'll live or where Alison will go to school and I certainly don't know what Navy life looks like. But I'm living one day at a time, relying on God's strength. I'm sure there will be many ups and downs along the way, but that would be true even if Ben wasn't in the Navy.

Trouble

I'll think twice before putting this sweatshirt on Eli again.
I took a quick shower this morning while the kids watched a video and ate breakfast.
I came out a few short minutes later to Eli's face covered in marker and cereal all over the floor.
And while I was cleaning up the mess, Eli decided that was a great time to start opening Christmas presents.

Well, we survived the morning, but I feel like this is just what life is right now-crazy.

Just how crazy? Crazy enough, that Eli went potty this week.

He's been telling us when his diaper is dirty (he'll say 'diaper' or 'poopy') and will start taking it off. If someone goes to the bathroom, he says "potty", follows them in and starts taking off his clothes. So we decided it was time to just introduce him to the potty and let him ease into the whole potty training thing. First night, he sat down and went potty. We celebrated with some chocolate that ended up all over him and the bathroom, but hey, that's just how life is here :)

Notice his short hair? I chopped both kids hair this week. Eli's resulted in tears, but I really like Alison's short. Now if I could just get her to wear a somewhat normal outfit, we'd be in good shape.

The new playroom

After the tree was put up and furniture rearranged, I got this nagging feeling to rearrange the entire house. I love the way Christmas decorations make the house feel warm and cozy and I want to feel that way in every room of the house-not just the living room. So my adventure began to "warm up" the house. I say adventure because it began with every single toy we own dumped in the middle of the playroom, shelves in the middle of the hallway and kids/cats climbing through the obstacle of our house. I put the kids and cats in nap time and all right, I confess, I sat amongst the mess and cried. My "warmness" felt very cold. I do not like clutter or chaos and now my whole house was destroyed. And just when I thought my vision was coming together, I broke our school table. Yep, you read that right. Snapped the leg right off that big wooden table. Well, God must give husbands some special gift when they have pregnant wives. I thought for sure Ben would freak at the sight of our house when he got home, but instead he calmly stepped through the mounds of toys and furniture, miraculously fixed our table and lovingly told me that I am not allowed to move anymore furniture until Surprise Baby is born.

I finished the room the next day and Ben admitted that he loved the way it looked. I was pleasantly surprised how much the kids instantly used the room. Before, when it was just full of toys, we had to MAKE them go in there and play. Now, they will both go in there, climb up in the red chair and look at books. Alright, this is probably a silly post, but it meant a lot to me. I love seeing my kids sit and enjoy a book. I also love a room being functional and enjoyable...now I just have to figure out where we're going to put this baby and all of it's stuff.

Thanksmas

Saturday morning we had our Thanksmas. Ben made tea pastries and we opened presents in our pj's. I must say, for having a small Christmas, we sure did have some stellar gifts this year. Kent passed down his childhood wooden train to Eli. Well, actually it must be shared among all the grandkids, but Eli's the only boy right now, so he gets first dibs for awhile. Nonetheless, it was an extremely special gift. Jordan and Sophie gave Alison a pink box full of princess cupcake decorating things with the promise to make cupcakes later that afternoon. I thought this was the perfect gift for her. She loves to be in the kitchen and what great memories she'll have spending time with her aunt and uncle. Elizabeth made the kids each an outfit and Alison has yet to take hers off :) She also made them each a puppet which they have LOVED playing with.

Making princess cupcakes!

We ended our Christmas with our annual pizza cook off. I can't tell you who won or what kind of pizza was made, but I heard they were all good.

Thanksgiving 2011

Elizabeth, Kent, Jordan and Sophie joined us for Thanksgiving this year. I should probably have Ben write this post, because my side of the story is not all that glamorous. I just keep reminding myself that this is just one year in many, and I most likely won't remember this one. Hopefully next year is much better. I didn't take a single picture Thanksgiving day...I couldn't even really tell you what happened outside of my bedroom doors. I think everyone had fun :) Ben, Elizabeth and Kent did all of the cooking and Kent graciously made me my favorite green bean casserole and that is pretty much all I ate for dinner.

The day after Thanksgiving, we decorated for Christmas and Sophie made us a 'breakfast for dinner' feast. I counted that meal as my Thanksgiving meal, since I was finally able to eat.

Helping Aunt Sophie make french toast

This is my view of the decorating from the couch. I thought it depicted the evening well...me on the couch, the boys putting up the tree, Alison loving on everyone, Sophie taking pictures.

I'm already planning next year and praying that maybe for once, I'll actually be able to cook!