Kindergarten Graduation

Alison is in the second row from the top, 4th kid in

Alison graduated Kindergarten on Thursday.  

I scored the perfect seat in the front, at the perfect angle facing Alison.  She could see me, and that's all that mattered.

It didn't take long for me to tear up.

She marched onto that stage with a smile on her face and immediately started singing along.

A year ago, she would have starred at the ground with her shy face on and would have mumbled the words.  I expected her to cry, but instead it was me crying.

I was so proud of her and how far she's come.

They sang several songs and then each class came up front for pictures.

The kids did amazing and it was fun to see all the little personalities of the kids in her class.

The program ended and we went back to Alison's class room.

Tyonna, Alison, Madelyn and Harmony

Here's where things got weird.  Her teacher was gone all week, even missing the graduation.  So there were some aids in the classroom telling the kids to clean out their desks and to have a great summer.
Keep in mind that this is Thursday morning and school was in session the remainder of that day and Friday until 1:00.  The aid starts telling parents that Friday is "optional" but Mrs. Zawodny won't be there.  I was really confused and felt like if I left Alison she was just going to be sitting in an empty classroom by herself.
So we packed up her desk, said goodbye to some friends and stood in the hallway for just a minute to say goodbye to Hardy Elementary.



On our way home, I took her to the library to pick out her second chapter book.
She spent a lot of time reading grandma's books while we were in Kansas and came home determined to conquer chapter books.  The series 'Junie B. Jones' was recommended to us and she's been flying through them.  Unfortunately, Colin also loves her new chapter books and destroys them...like eats pages and tears them to shreds...our bill at the library is growing daily!



now it's time for my beef:

 -Each family was only allowed 2 tickets to the program and siblings are not allowed because of "liability".  I've missed everything this year because of my "liabilities".  I was only able to attend graduation because I hired a babysitter. 

-Her teacher has been gone for probably 50% of the year.  They had a long term sub for probably 3 months and then there were budget cuts and instead of hiring a sub, they would just shuffle the class around to different classes.  Alison missed out on several things because she was in someone elses class and it just erks me.  I'm not saying the teacher isn't allowed to have some health problems, but a little communication would be nice.  Like, "Hey, by the way, I won't be at your child's graduation, but I loved having them in my class this year and I'll miss them".  Nope.  I'm so glad that Alison doesn't even know how fun the last day of school is and I really hope that next year is better.
-At the end of their program, the principal got up and said, "Well, we're done.  Please wait here until your child is dismissed."  REALLY?!  That's it?  So much for a sentimental speech about how well they did or even a congratulations. 

-this song!  I wanted to pull Alison off the stage.  Thank you so much for teaching my daughter how to be greedy.

Okay, my beef is done.  

Overall, I'm so glad we sent Alison to school this year.  Socially, it did wonders for her and she did learn some new things.  I loved that it gave her some independence, while giving me some time with just the boys.  I'm ready to have her home for awhile and hoping Carrollton schools are a little better in the communication department.

Kindergarten is over and I'm ready to celebrate.

We made it!

Here's a glimpse of Alison's favorite song from the program.  I will warn you, though, it was the most painful one:

Nana and Granddady time!

A bonus to going to Kansas was that we got to see Elizabeth and Kent.

They met us one night for dinner and then we went to see their new house in Kansas City a few days later.

Alison and Eliot running in the bubbles granddaddy is blowing for them

When we got there, they had everything ready for a picnic in the park...

it was just what the kids needed!

After a week of being cooped up in a plane, car, hotel room or grandma's loft, they were ready for some fresh air and time to just run around.

 

P.S.  I only stole one picture from Kent...do I get bonus points for that?

Reminiscing

Rose and Colin napping in the car

We traveled every.single.day while we were in Kansas.

We were either going to Newton or back to Lawrence and even threw a short trip to Kansas City in there.  Every day was packing up for 4 people, munching on snack foods, interrupted naps and sleeping in different places.  The kids handled the adventure well and on the bright side, Eliot learned how to potty on the side of the road!

Eliot, Rose and Alison in our hotel room

With all our traveling, I thought this was a golden opportunity to reminisce about my past and document it.  With my fancy-schmancy camera in hand, I planned to get some fantastic shots of my favorite places.

However, these plans quickly blew away with the Kansas wind.

I forgot how windy it is there!

watching the cows at Aunt Karen's

 The kids didn't want to explore the farm because there were dogs at Aunt Karen's house and it was muddy.  So we looked at some cows and that was about it.

They weren't even interested in my stories of playing in the chicken coop, riding horses, playing in the pool or climbing hay bales.  If only they knew the fun they were missing out on.

 

I drove through Newton and by grandma and grandpa's old house.  I stopped the car to get a picture, but it just wasn't the same.  It's uncle Sam's house now and he's made it his own (as he should).  The swing set we played on is gone and the creek is overgrown.

I drove around the middle school that grandma would always take us to, only to find the stage where we would ride our bikes on now has a building on it and the big jungle gym has been replaced with just a few swings.

I ended our tour, driving around the cemetery right by their old house.  Grandma would take us for walks through there when were kids.  I never knew if there was someone specific she was visiting or if it was just a place to let us run around.  But this trip was different than the rest.  This time, I was able to see my Grandma Emile's gravestone for the first time.  She passed away the day Alison was born and I wasn't able to go to the funeral.

Back in Lawrence, my plans failed once more.

The duplex Ben and I lived in when were first married had a big boat in the driveway and a canoe in front of the door.  Definitely not picturesque or how I remember it.

The schools have been remodeling, restaurants have closed, streets have even been renamed.

Places that were for so long, home and comforting, now felt strange and unfamiliar.  

Nothing was as it had been years ago.

Places have changed.

People have changed.

I have changed.

Yuck.

It made me long to be a kid again.

playing baseball with grandpa in the backyard

However, it made me look at the 3 amazing kids that God has blessed me with and I'm so thankful that they can start making new memories of their own.  I handed Alison our old digital camera on our trip and I told her to start taking pictures of everything that was important to her now.  I hope to document for her, what will be important to her later.

I pray that she cherishes, what I learned is most important this trip.  

It's not about the places, it's about the people.

What a gift family is.  They love you throughout your whole life; no matter how many changes you go through.

And if she ever doubts me, I'll show her this picture:

I found this in the windowsill at my grandparents house.

It sits in front of my grandpa's desk, a place I know he visits daily.

20-some years later, I live states away and haven't visited for years...and they still have my picture up.

That's family.

Traveling solo

The saying is true.

You do, what you have to do.

I knew I had to go to Kansas and since Ben had only been at his new job a few weeks, I ventured there alone with our crew.

 

 

Alison was the least of my worries...she's our expert traveler.  She's so comfortable with the in's and out's of traveling that she was great help with teaching the boys the ropes.

I was, however, a little worried about the boys.  Eliot hasn't flown since he was a baby and this was Colin's first trip.

But, they did amazing!  

Not a single whine or complaint or fuss or worry.  It was shocking to me how they weren't even phased by the fact that we were in the sky, but I think it actually helped that they're boys and loved just being on a plane.

My trick?  I held Colin in front of me and put one kid on each side of me and handed them an electronic, stack of books, their favorite blanket and big bag of fruit snacks.  Hey, it worked and they were happy the whole trip.  Colin even slept some, which gave me some good snuggles that I just soaked up.

Traveling there, we had some amazing flight attendants and found this play place on our layover.  I loved that even Colin could crawl around and get out some energy before we had to sit on another plane.

We made it safe and sound and although our plans for the trip quickly changed upon arrival (due to grandma's decline), I still got to see some of my favorite people!

Dinner with Cara

 Lydia came by the morning we left for grandma's and watched the kids while we packed up our stuff.  I was so thankful we got to meet Courtney and watch the kids play together, but it definitely made me long for more time with these lifelong friends.

Leaving a legacy

 My grandma died just 9 days after being diagnosed with liver cancer.

The day she was diagnosed, I booked tickets for me and the kids to go visit.  I wanted her to meet my boys and I knew I had to go say goodbye.  I thought, perhaps, I could cook her kielke and we could just sit and chat...there was so much I wanted to tell her.

But the trip did not go as I anticipated.  Grandma was so weak the day we got there that it took all her energy to speak a sentence.  I was afraid to share with her everything on my heart, for fear that her trying to respond would take up the remainder of her energy.  The words that she said to me were precious and I will never forget them.  And instead of our long chats, I just sat and held her hand.

But if I could have, I would have told her:
That I hum the melody that she sang to me as a child, as she rocked me in her brown chair, to my baby.

That I sing "High, High, Up in the sky, goes Eliot!" every time I swing my kids, just like she sang to me.
That we make verinky every New Year's Eve and zwiebach every Thanksgiving.

You see, grandma left a legacy.
An amazing legacy of love and quality time with family.

You didn't have to look very far to see it in her last days.
Two people were always sitting beside her, holding a hand.
Her home was full of kids, grandkids, greatgrandkids, nieces, and friends the entire week.
Her husband of 63 years never left her side.
Everyone was full of peace as they offered ice chips or placed a cold rag on her neck, doing anything they could to help her be more comfortable at a very painful time.
I was overwhelmed by the amount of love that filled her house.  My family went days without hardly eating or sleeping and traveled great distances to take care of her and it was one of the most beautiful things I've seen.

Grandma meeting Alison

My entire life, every time I would walk in the door she would open her arms wide and say, 

"Oh my Jennifer".  

Doesn't look like much when I type it out, but it was the most warm and loving greeting.

She still said it to me when I walked in to see her a week ago.  She said it to me even when her words were labored and few and far between.

Rocking Alison, just like she rocked me

I often felt like an odd shaped puzzle piece in my family-never completely fitting in.

I'm not a nurse, I don't play sports and I couldn't tell you how to pickle a cucumber.

But she made me fit.

She was the one that would scoop me up and bring me into the kitchen with her.  

She would let me sit on the counter and "help" her cook.

She taught me and my sister how to play nerts and would play tournaments with us all day long.

She would have coloring contests with us and let us dress up in her old dresses and shoes.

She would draw tracks on her drive way and help us imagine different worlds as we rode around on our hotwheels.

Grandma meeting her youngest great-grandchildren

I will always remember picking berries in the backyard and playing in the creek behind her house.

I'll remember the hours of playing in the attic space and the smell of their house.

She drank coffee.

In fact, I'm pretty sure the last thing she consumed was coffee.

She worked as a nurse while raising 4 kids and always had dinner on the table.

Lesson learned from grandma:

Sleep less, work hard and drink more coffee!

She is the strongest woman I know.

My Aunt Karen and Beth are right there behind her,

 but being with her this past week, proved to me how incredible she is.

Anyone else would have given up far sooner, but she fought hard until the very end.

Tuesday was the last day that she really said anything.  After that, it was just short one-word answers.
And this is what my grandma said to me on that precious day:

"Oh my Jennifer.  You came.  You came all this way to see me.  I'm so sorry you have to see me like this.  But I'm so glad I got meet the boys."

She told me that she loves reading this blog.

"He really does have long eyelashes"
(while looking at Colin, and keep in mind that she wouldn't recognize people unless you got really close and told her who you were)

And the last thing she said to me was, "I wish I could get out of this chair and play with Colin".

Wow.
Her last words were so selfless.
At a time of great pain, she was thinking about me seeing her sick.
And how did she want to spend her last hours?  Playing with her great-grandkids.

Colin and grandpa

Grandma had this uncanny sense for the kids.

When we walked in the room, we would have to lean over, give her a hug and say "Hi grandma, it's Jen".  There were a couple of times that I would be sitting, holding her hand, and she wouldn't know it was me until Aunt Karen told her.

All that to say, that if the kids left the room, she would ask where they were.

She just wanted to touch them and look at them.

I sat with Eli across the room from her and she said, "he has such a sweet voice".

How she saw and heard them, I have no idea.

Seeing grandma's health fade quickly was hard to see.

But she left me feeling encouraged as a mom...

To love them and pour into them, because my days are numbered and I have a legacy to pass on.

Strawberry Pickin'

Just so happened to be my birthday last week and we had some grandiose plans. 

Did you know that it always rains on my birthday?

Our Windsor Castle run was cold and dreary and the amazing "nice neighborhood" garage saleclosed down.

We decided to brave the spotty showers and head to the strawberry patch anyway.

I mean, who couldn't use some fresh strawberry ice cream on their birthday?

It ended up being the perfect time to go.  Yes, it was a little chilly for little legs, but no one was there and we pretty much had the patch to ourselves.  

Ben and the kids picked...and I ate ice cream :)

 

Eliot spent all of his time finding strawberries to eat and Colin spent his time getting dirty and tasting dirt.