Adjusting to California life

No two places are the same.  Even two cities right next to each other have differences that require adjustments.  I wasn't really sure how to mentally prepare for California living; I was mostly just excited to get here and say sayonara to the dessert.

My neighbor in Yuma warned me about the people/culture here.  She lived in the San Diego area and felt that people judged you A LOT by your processions and how healthy you ate.  First of all, I was super thankfully we got a new car...imagine us pulling up in our red mini van to a line Teslas.  BUT, I haven't found this to be true at all where we live.  I have yet to feel shamed or out of place because of something I've purchased.  However, I do feel a cultural difference that has been hard to pinpoint.  People are nice and friendly and they're not snotty or judgy; they're neutral.  I think the best way to describe it is this way: people here have their set life bubble and they aren't looking for anything to join that bubble.  They will be nice to you, but they're not going to extend an invitation into their bubble.  We've lived a good mix of places and I could probably start a book on the cultural differences in each place.  West coast culture might take some studying to really figure out.  Add on to this, they are completely oblivious to the huge military culture around them.  There are TWO bases in this area, one being just a few miles from the church we're going to, and people look at us like we're aliens.  Any talk of military leaves them with a big questioning look on their face and have lead to some pretty rude comments like, "Well we won't get too close to you since you'll just be moving in a few years".  Needless to say, the people I've connected the most with here are other military people. As we've talked to fellow military friends, they all feel this too.  A fellow chaplain's wife said it best, "They just aren't good at making new friends."

On the flip side of this, I've also seen some huge acts of kindness from strangers.  A few examples: I watched a lady approach a homeless man by the library.  She spoke to him genuinely, asking about how he was doing and then handed him a meal.  I don't think I'll forget the look of shock on his face and the look of compassion on hers.  Personally, at that same library, there is a little cafe that a woman runs by herself.  We went in one day for a little treat, looking for the world's best chocolate mousse we had discovered weeks before.  The owner said that she doesn't make her treats on a schedule, basically just makes what she feels like making for the day but said she would make some just for us.  Sure enough, we came back the following week and she had 4 boxes of mousse just for us.  

Grocery shopping took a lot of adjusting.  In most stores, you have to bring your own bags or pay for theirs.  I feel like this simple thing makes buying enough groceries for a week impossible.  AND I need plastic bags!  We use them to scoop dog poop and as bathroom trashcan liners.  If you buy plastic bags from the store, they are nice and too fancy to put dog poop in.  My biggest beef with it; the idea is to cut down on plastic use, right?  Then why can I grab a zillion plastic bags to put my produce in, but I can't put my groceries in a bag that I will reuse?!?!  On top of that, most stores are not designed to do all of your shopping in one spot.  Thus, I find running errands taking so much time.  I sure do miss the Walmart grocery pick up, although I am loving having Trader Joe's in my life now.

People also warned us about prices in California.  Surprisingly, we are actually paying less out of pocket now than we were in Arizona.  It was often underestimated how expensive Yuma was.  It tried to be like California in a lot of random ways, so they would hike up the price for something po dunk. We also paid out the wazoo to keep our house under 80°.  There have been a few times that I have paid for something and thought, "Hello California prices"....I'm looking at you Wetzel Pretzel.  Gas is more expensive but we can get it a lot cheaper on base.

My running life has changed as well.  I love that I can run any.time.of.day that I want.  The views are beautiful and I have some great paths.  The major adjustment has been the hills.  Flat dessert to big hills was tough.  The first 2 weeks, I walked all the hills and had to slowing work up to running up them.  I have thought many a runs, "I am so done with hills.  I never want to see a hill again."  But I have to buck up because I have zero flat options near our house.

Our dog had the hardest time adjusting to California.  She's slept in a crate since she was at least 4 months old, but it's too giant to fit anywhere in our house.  We tried it in 3 different rooms and it just too up too much space in our smaller home.  We finally decided that she was just going to have to learn how to sleep in her bed and not in a crate.  Easier said than done.  We put her bed in our room, where she also slept since a puppy and she would fall asleep fine, but then if any kids came in our room during the night (they were adjusting too to a new house), she would start barking and then jump all over the kids and then want to go potty.  It was a mess.  It took some time, but she has settled down and now puts herself to bed and stays there until she is good and ready to get up in the morning.  She also went through a period of not knowing what to do with herself.  We stopped letting her on furniture and she would just pace the house trying to find where she fit in.  If a blanket or sweatshirt was dropped on the floor, she would lay on it, almost to claim it as her space.

Ih homeschooling, we've had to adjust to Alison working in her room, which means I'm bouncing around the house teaching kids and the others have to be patient while they wait.  The good adjustment has been joining a homeschool group and all of the opportunities that has brought.  Our schedule quickly went from completely empty to bordering on too full.  I love that the options for activities and outings are endless :)



When all the adjustments seem too much, I think back to life in Arizona and take a moment to just be thankful that I am now breathing ocean air.

This is a post I started around September...I was so angry at Yuma at the time and needed to vent.

When we first moved to Yuma, we were so excited.  It was sunny and beautiful and we had fruit trees in our yard!  However, every time we told someone we just moved here, they would say, "Oh, I'm sorry."  We ignored their pessimism.  It didn't take long for us to find an amazing church and the worlds best tacos.  I got to set up my own schoolroom (instead of using a nook in the master bedroom) and Ben enjoyed the very short commute to work. 

We are now getting ready to move to California, the place we had in our heads we would move to 3 years ago.  God had other plans for us and I am starting to see why He brought us to Yuma.

There are several things that no one tells you about Yuma Arizona.  Everyone just says, "It's hot there."  Yep, it sure is.  Or they'll say, "It's a really small town."  True to that too.  But here's the brutal truth about this place.

1.  It is phsyically hard to live here.  I could feel it almost instantly.  The air quality is atrocious and it feels hard to breath.  People say that the pesticides they spray on the fields play a big part in peoples health around here and we live right next to all the fields.  My running suffered signifcantly right away due to the environment and then I noticed my hair started falling out.  I also started having some hormonal changes.  I have been to the doctor twice since living here to get blood work done to make sure there's isn't something else going on.  Everything has checked out perfect but it sure doesn't feel that way.  As I've talked to other woman and my doctor, I've learned a lot.  Hair loss, weight gain and hormonal changes are experienced by almost all women who live here!  The pesticides and the extreme UV rays cause the hair loss.  The extreme heat makes the female body go into survival mode.  It's actually pretty cool how God designed our bodies to do that, but in a very vain way, it's depressing.  Extreme heat tells your body to hold onto water and it basically shuts down the metabolism and thyroid.  Another factor is the lower exposure to vitamin D, as much as an oximoron as that is.  In the heat, we shut up the house...literally covering windows and shutting of lights to keep the house as cool as possible.  We also don't go out as much and the lower vitamin D can cause depression which causes hormonal shifts and weight gain.  It's super fun y'all.  It also just physically hurts to go outside for 4 months of the year, if not longer.  Your skin feels like it's going to fry off.  Just running errands, puts your body through the ringer as it tries to regulate your temperature and you come home exhausted.  Oh and the water.  You always, always, always have to have a giant water bottle with you.  Some times, even a gallon of water a day isn't enough.  Our kids have had many boughts of dehydration and it's something we constantly have to be on top of.  I've noticed that each summer our bodies have reacted more.  Mentally we know what to expect, but the "symptoms" have only increased.  And there comes a point, where you think, "I should just accept this season.  Okay, so I'm swollen; it will pass.  I'll just buy some new clothes to make it through."  Ha!  Your options for shopping are Target and Walmart, both of which have Spanish influenced fashion.  Ordering online sounds great, except who know what size you actually are.

2.  You are basically living in Mexico.  When I walk into a store, everyone is speaking Spanish.  The cashier says "hola" to everyone...but me.  Frequently, I'll look around and realize that I am the only white person in the store.  Hispanic culture is something that has to be adapted to.  Stores have weird hours and they tend to be out late, when the sun isn't out trying to kill you.  People also keep to themselves.  They aren't mean, they just aren't going to go out of their way to talk to you.