We've been in New York for 4 months now. Usually I would have had house pictures up a long time ago, but I had to take a break from house projects to finish up school, get some other big things done and socialize. I knew New York would be very different, but it's surprised me in a lot of ways. I still have a lot to learn, but here are some things I've figured out so far.
1. Always, always, always bring a bottle of wine with you. Whatever event you are going to, bring wine. And not a cheap bottle, because they will analyze/judge what you brought. Women's retreat? wine. Birthday party? wine. Dinner with another family? wine. Playdate? wine. Food might work too, but it's considered somewhat rude to show up empty handed.
2. Be prepared to be handed a glass of wine and taste several different wines (or a variety of alcoholic beverage), but not actually drink the wine you brought. The pastor's wife of our church told me that New Yorker's take their alcohol very seriously...and she wasn't joking or being flippant. It's true.
Point in case:
This church event, was an open house for a family that helps run wineries on the east end of the Island:
The family literally had cases of wine around their house, yet everyone still brought a bottle of wine. AND we only drank the special wine they had from their wineries. My frugal Kansas brain can't figure this one out. Why did I bring you wine, when you have wine coming out your ears?
Side note: everyone said we MUST go to the 'North Fork' for this event...the opportunity couldn't be missed because it was so spectacular there. It's safe to say that we are snobs and weren't as wowed as they thought we should be. Sure, it was pretty, but it reminded me of driving to the Outer Banks in North Carolina and I'm not sure it was the 1.5 hour drive.
3. Nothing is short. If you are invited to do something, that will be your whole day. All events and social gatherings are expected to last around 6 hours and people will think you are weird if you leave after a couple of hours.
4. Nothing is easy. Everywhere you want to go, requires a different pass and there is a different way to get that pass. Want to meet friends at the park? That's funny. Only certain people can go to certain parks and you need certain passes and pay to get into that park.
5. Nothing is simple and they like their parties. You may think you're just going to a birthday party or picnic or playdate, but it's going to be a giant event...that lasts all day.
Our neighbors, very kindly, invited us to their daughter's 11th birthday party. We thought it would be a great way to meet the family and took a little gift. HA! We showed up to an event pretty much the whole town was invited to, with wait staff, catered food, a bounce house, 2 drink stations with speciality drinks and ping pong/cornhole.
They even had this trailer that had a beer tap and had a selfie station inside.
We did meet our neighbors, but we also met the whole street :)
6. People move to Sea Cliff for the small town feel and community. We get asked all the time, "HOW did you end up in Sea Cliff?" and are completely shocked to find out that we just stumbled into the neighborhood. Our answer is usually, "Um, we found a house that was within driving distance to Ben's work and we could afford it and it checked enough of our essential boxes." We're told that people spend years trying to get into the town. We're also finding out what they mean about the small town feel and are quickly learning why a New Yorker would work hard to get into this area.
Ben and I went to get coffee at the Sea Cliff Cafe one morning and the owner was behind the counter serving coffee and knew everyone's name that walked in. Some people had tabs they put their coffee on and one gentleman was a little short on cash and the guy said it was on the house.
7. Driving is INSANE. There is not a way to emphasize that word enough. It's just top notch crazy. 90% of driving is watching other people and saying "What are you thinking?!?!?"
This doesn't make sense until you actually witness it, but the theme is: people just go, when it doesn't make sense to go and they just stop, when it doesn't make sense to stop.
It's didn't take long for me to turn into a honking New York driver...twice, I've had to roll down my window to yell at someone who was literally about to hit my car where Eli sits because they are trying to weasel their way into traffic!
8. New York moms like their activities and are busy! They are also fierce and confident, in a good way. They are going to do whatever it takes to get their kids what they think they need. This becomes a blessing in the homeschool community because they are going to make sure their kids have some great experiences and our family only benefits from joining them.
9. If you are by water, everyone will be in a bikini or swim trunks (no rash guards). They will also be sunbathing or swimming. There's no time for sandcastles here people.
10. New Yorker's are quick to tell you how it is, but are also quick to treat you like family. I will forever be thankful for the people who have scooped us up and included us already in their life.
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