38 Weeks

At 38 weeks, I starting having contractions and after lots of food, water, a hot bath and a nap, they still were coming. I just wanted to get a good nights' sleep, but by 2 am they were 2 minutes apart and Beth and I decided to head into the hospital. I had dilated to 4 cm, but after some monitoring, the contractions slowed down. The doctor told me to walk for 2 hours to see if I would dilate to 5 and they would admit me (this is exactly what happened with Eli's birth). 2 hours later I was only a little over 4, but contractions were not consistent...so we headed home. I was so thankful to be back home with my kids, but Beth and I are both exhausted after being up all night and then had to jump into a "normal" day with kids. I have no idea why labor just stopped and was left feeling very confused.  The triage nurse said she didn't think I would make it through the weekend and for sure not until my next OB appointment on Tuesday.  God definitely blessed us with an understanding Commander for Ben and has given him extra "liberties" along the way.  He was able to text me through the night and call after PT in the morning.  I needed to hear his voice and assurance.  Physically, my body was sore from laboring and walking all night and emotionally, I just didn't know how I could handle much more.

God provided comfort, rest and a lot of food for us the next couple of days.  I did make it through the weekend and even to my next OB appointment.  My mom flew in on Saturday night and has jumped in helping entertain kids, cleaning up and running errands.  I had several days of feeling very nauseous and having sparatic contractions, which left me pretty much glued to the couch.  At my OB appointment, my blood pressure was up, my weight has dropped and I'm only dilated 3 cm.  And this is where my sister says I'm a freak of nature.  Seriously?!  Who decreased dilation while having contractions all day, every day?!  I was frustrated with the doctors who seemed to not know anything about me, my history or even care in the slightest...and I'm ready to be done.  I don't think my body knows how to have babies.  I don't think it knows how to labor, it just knows how to be horrible.  Friday I'll be 39 weeks and an induction has been scheduled for Monday morning at 7:30 am.  Ben comes home Friday night, all our family leaves Saturday and we'll have 1 full day to rest before entering life as a family of 5.

This pregnancy has been a hard road for me, but I am SO very excited to hold my son.  I'm excited to hear his cry and count his toes.  I'm excited to really hold my kids again and to hug my husband.  I'm excited to bend over and shave my legs.  I'm excited to not get my shirt wet every time I wash the dishes from my belly resting on the counter.  I'm excited to announce Surprise Baby's name and see what color his hair is.
I do however have one regret as this pregnancy draws to a close.  I regret all the grumbling and complaining I've done.  I regret the bad attitude I've shown my kids and the negative things they've heard me say.  I wish I could go back and erase it all.  I wish I could have just seen the good that God was doing and praise Him for it all and not only see the pain and discomfort I was feeling.  I fear Alison and Eliot will only remember this time as a stressful one, instead of one that really brought us together.  Well, Grandma has Alison out dress shopping and eating Arby's right now, so maybe that will erase some of it.  We'll just have to figure out a cure for Eli :)