Officer Training School

Ben has been given orders to attend Officer Training School in Newport, Rhode Island.
He leaves a month from today and will be gone for 5 weeks.
I will be 34-39 weeks pregnant.
He will be gone for Mother's Day, my 30th birthday and yes, possibly the birth of the baby.


Because of this, I've made our blog private...I just don't feel comfortable having the whole world know that I'm at home by myself and largely pregnant. And the purpose of this blog is for my documentation of our family life and I put enough personal information on it that it just makes sense. Plus, the personal information is just going to increase as I document the arrival of Surprise Baby.

I've also added a tab on our blog titled 'For Ben'. We don't know how much we'll be able to be in contact with one another, if at all. I wanted to make sure that Ben doesn't miss a moment of our kids lives, especially if #3 joins the family. I plan on posting daily for him, so if he ever has a chance, he can check in on us. I realize that I can't make that tab solely private and I know people will read it, but I ask that you respect our family privacy and not post any comments on that page.

When Ben was first given the information that he was eligible to be sent to this training, I was at peace with it. There was a chance he wouldn't be selected and there was even another chance that he wouldn't get funded to go. The door was wide open for God to shut it. I assured him we would be fine and that we just would need a plan. I'm good at planning. I love planning.
But the moment he said he was officially given orders, my brain shut down.
He told me to tell him what I wanted and he would make it happen.
Great, but my brain couldn't put together what I wanted.
All I could think was, "I don't know".
Every time I started to formulate a plan, it would fall through.
Ben started to get frustrated with me that I was being too picky or judgmental and didn't know how to help me. Then I realized why it was such a struggle.
What I want is my husband.
Nothing can replace that.
Nothing and no one can be the comfort that he is.
No one can take care of our kids like he does and no one knows me like he does.

Enjoying a family movie night, watching 'The Muppets' and eating M & M's

So what does this mean?
It means that our days are a little sweeter; a little more cherished.
It means we have a lot to get done in 4 weeks.
Ben is preaching the next 2 Sundays, has 2 seminary classes to finish, training to prepare for and work to prep for his leave.
I have to gather everything we need for a new baby, get a haircut and pedicure, potty train Eli, decide/plan/prepare/ for Alison's schooling next year, get the van inspected and an oil change, line up emergency babysitters, plan and grocery shop for 5 weeks of meals and figure out Alison's new booster seat situation.
Oh yeah, and WE HAVE TO PICK A NAME FOR THE BABY!

Eliot very excited to see his crib...and very sad when we told him it was for the new baby.

Honestly, I had great hesitations in writing this post. I put it off for a long time. There are still a lot of people I haven't even told. Why? Because my greatest struggle with this has been with people's reactions. I have been shocked and caught off guard...it definitely was not the challenge I anticipated facing. I can handle Ben being gone for 5 weeks. I can handle taking care of our kids by myself. The anxiety of having a Surprise Baby some time in the next 10 weeks would be present even if Ben was home. But for some reason, dealing with others comments has been too much.
Most are thinking, "Well, that was a dumb decision. Sucks for you."
Others think, "Jen! You should have controlled your husband and not let him go or even let him go into the Military!"
And then there's the large majority that think, "Well, that's the life you signed up for. Suck it up."

Did we plan to have a third baby? No.
Did we plan for Ben to be gone? No.
We were originally told nothing would be happening until January.
Would we have chosen this? No.

I may not know much, but here's what I do know.
I love Ben immensely and he has been called by God to Ministry.
I am called as his wife to be a helper, encourager and supporter.
We are all called to pick up our cross and follow Christ wherever He leads us and with that requires daily sacrifice.
God cannot be put in a box and I cannot limit what he can and will do in our life.
Who am I to stop God's work in my husband's life?
I am not the God of my husband and who am I to control him?
I know that Ben loves me and wants to provide and take care of me to the best of his ability.
I know that my Savior loves me and wants to bless me.
I know this will be hard, but it will be good.
I've already seen blessing. I've already seen our relationship strengthen and deepen. I've seen the Lord give us a peace that only comes from Him.

Right now our "Operation Baby" plan is this:
We will line up emergency babysitters for Alison and Eliot.
Lord willing, Rachel and the girls will come stay with me week 4 and
my sister will come week 5.

Other than that, our plan is to PRAY. Pray for strength and for comfort. Pray for a healthy baby and a quick recovery. Pray for safety for Ben. Pray that Alison and Eliot would adjust and feel secure through the next few months. Pray for good sleep, as I've found I'm the most emotional when I'm tired. Pray that we would rest in the everlasting arms of Christ.

Happy 2nd Birthday Eliot!

Happy Birthday Eliot James!

I will never forget the day you were born and what a wonderful 2 years it's been since then.

I love 2. I love that a $5 bouncy ball is all that is needed for complete joy in a little boys life. I love the simplicity, the giggles and excitement of the stage.

I had planned a fun little party at a local farm for today. We were going to meet some friends there and enjoy playing and eating cupcakes. However, the weather changed on me and it was way too cold for a day at the farm. I moved the party to our house and then I woke up feeling horrible. I had to cancel the party...who cancels their son's party? I felt terrible! Thankfully, he's 2 and had no idea what was going on, but I still felt terrible. So instead of partying we:

Had blueberry muffins and sausage for breakfast

Opened a few more presents

Ate some cupcakes and blew out the candle at least 10 times.

And at this point mommy learned that little boys need aprons too.
I thought it would be fun to let Eli help me mix the frosting.
My brain must have been foggy...before I knew it he had chocolate ALL over his cute white birthday shirt. Which by the way, a HUGE thank you goes to my good friend Andrea who saves me every birthday and makes my kid's birthday shirts. And for that matter, thank you Jamie for all the decorations and to the grandparents for the presents. Pretty much, it's all thanks to you guys that Eliot had a birthday celebration. Maybe next year we'll actually get our act together around here.

Anyway, back to our day...I washed the birthday shirt while Eliot took a nap and then we were off to the Ice Cream Parlor.

They give out free ice cream sundaes on birthdays and we thought it would be fun just to get dinner there too. Plus, this pregnant and sick mommy didn't feel like cooking (did you catch that we had cupcakes for lunch?).

It was not the day I had planned, but it was still a sweet day of playing and snuggling and reading books and eating way too many sweets. Let's look at the positive side, at least I haven't set a high expectation on birthdays that I have to top each year. Some day we will have a real birthday party, but in reality, I enjoy quiet family birthdays much more.

A Transition for Mommy

As the debate and search for a name for Surprise Baby continues, it has made us think more and more about Alison and Eliot's names. Whatever we choose has to blend with theirs...I mean shouting, "Alison, Eliot and Sebastian!" just sounds silly. Yes, joking about silly names has also been common around here.

The debate has also made me realize how much it bothers Alison that I call Eliot, Eli. Ben, Alison and pretty much our entire extended family calls him Eliot. I call him Eli and therefore, most of my friends call him Eli. But anytime I introduce him to someone, Alison corrects me. She'll often say, "You mean Eliot" or "His name is Eliot" and up until now I took it as her being snotty and would give her a "chat" about being respectful. But the other day I realized she was entitled to feelings too, and asked her if it really bothered her that I called him Eli and if it would make her happy if I called him Eliot, like her and Daddy. "YES!" she exclaimed and went running to Ben to tell him the good news.

So for Mommy's transition, I am working hard on calling my son Eliot. I will still call him Eli occasionally, because I'm his mommy and I get that right. But for the unity of our little family, I have promised my little girl to work on introducing him as Eliot. I still can't believe how hard naming children is for me and Ben!

Easter 2012

We enjoyed a beautiful Easter service this morning as a family.
I know I say this every year, but I love being married to the person in charge of the music, because I know we'll sing my favorite songs. It took everything in my not to start jumping around with Alison as we sung "Up from the grave he arose!"
Alright, the giant baby in my belly might have helped hold me in my seat too, but I still enjoyed singing with my little girl.

After church we had a light lunch and found Easter baskets.

I confess I have a deep love for Easter baskets. They are for me, what Christmas stockings are for Ben. It took Eliot all of 10 seconds to start eating the candy, while Alison carefully analyzed each item before digging in.


Our friends Tim, Abby, Alex and Avery joined us for the afternoon for our 3rd annual Easter together. The kids had fun playing, going on an Easter egg hunt and eating peeps.

While the men talked and the kids' played, Abby and I enjoyed an afternoon in the living room relaxing. Surprise Baby is on another growth spurt and Abby was feeding Avery-it was a perfect combination for some good time to chat and catch up. I wonder if we'll ever have an Easter where one of us is not pregnant or nursing.

I learned my lesson from last year and dinner consisted of easy, made ahead food. Totally worth it and still very yummy: ham, potatoes, green beans and zwiebach.
I was so thankful for a beautiful spring day and time with good friends. It was a great day to stop and be thankful for all the things Christ has done for me.

A Historic Event

My dad came to visit us this past week!
My mom was supposed to join him, but unfortunately got sick at the last minute and wasn't able to come. The doctor suspects she has shingles and can't be around kids or pregnant women for several weeks-which would pretty much sum up this house.

Time with my dad was a very sweet thing for me.
As an adult, most of the time I get with him is full of other people and events.
But there were no conference calls, emails to return, boat runs to make or fishing trips.
It was just us and some sweet family time.


The first day, my dad took Ben and Alison on a shopping extravaganza.
They were perhaps the happiest people on the face of the planet. Let's just say, Ben got some new hunting supplies and Alison won herself a whole new wardrobe, lunch at Chick-fil-A and a bag of gummy worms.

I had asked my dad if he could help us with some yard work when he was here.
I was thinking fun things like planting pretty flowers and herbs, but it was much too cold and a little too early for my plans. But, he was able to help Ben cut down some trees, remove some stumps and trim up all the bushes.


He also treated the kids to a lunchable picnic, spent lots of time playing outside and games with them, gave baths, told them stories, helped us make a baby name list and gave us a crash course on Dave Ramsey. There was LOTS of gun, fishing and basketball talk and a little pingpong in there too.

Alison's trying to spice up Grandpa's fishing story

I know I will forever cherish this time we had.
I'm sorry my mom was sick, but it was a blessing to still have some time with Grandpa.
Hopefully we'll get some again when Surprise Baby is born!

28 Weeks, Hello Third Trimester

We like to keep it real, here at the Shear house.
This is how it really it is to be pregnant with a third child:
And this is how you would see me most of the day.
With one kid sitting on the bump and the other leaning against the front, this Surprise Baby won't know what to do with himself without being squashed when he's born.

This picture also proves how much Surprise Baby went on a growth spurt.
It surely explains all of the aches and pains I've been feeling.
I definitely missed the second trimester "I feel amazing and have lots of energy", but it's kind of exciting that the end is closer in sight.
I'm back to measuring a week behind schedule, which actually is reassuring to me. The thought of delivering a large baby is not a pleasant one.