Reminiscing

We've eaten so many strawberries this week!

And every time we pull out that big basket of berries, Ben and I start to think about this:

 

Our beloved strawberry patch in Michigan.

I know I didn't appreciate what I had at the time I had it.

I know I didn't use our abundance of berries like I should have.

I know I didn't help Ben out there half as much as I should.

And I regret it.  I wish I could go back.

But I will never, ever forget this moment:

Alison had just started walking that day.

It was a VERY exciting day for us as 'new parents'.

We took her out with us to pick berries and she toddled up and down the brick path.

It was such a sweet time and a beautiful evening.

Then, the 'new parent' in us really shown through.  Just about the time we realized that we probably should not have a wobbly, undressed baby outside on cracked bricks, she fell flat on her face and scrapped up her hands and knees.  Yep, I will always remember that mommy moment.  Why are my children never wearing clothes?!

A lot has changed since then.  My kids are often still clothes-less, but now there are KIDS.

And I never could have imagined that our sweet family time would turn to this.

 

And some how Eli has turned on a setting on our camera that is cropping all the pictures...we can't figure out what he did!  This little boy really knows how to keep me on my toes!

Right Now

 As much as I've attempted to keep life "normal" for the next few weeks, the reality is things are changing, as they always will be.  So this is a little what life is like right now.

My belly is big.  Trust me.  Bending over this bathtub is impossible.  As I attempted my "normal" bathroom cleaning, Alison very sweetly asked if she could clean the tub for me.  She threw on her swimsuit, jumped in the tub and scrubbed that tub clean (don't worry, it's all natural cleaner).  She even cleaned up herself when she was done cleaning her bathtub.  I hope she laughs at this picture some day...note her suit is on backwards.

While Cinderella was cleaning, Eli was enjoying the quiet...with the ipod and a ring pop.

This morning, when we were done with school and Eli had successfully peed on the potty, it was time for me to stretch out this big belly.  The swimsuit reappeared and Alison was excited to join me for some prenatal yoga.  This picture makes me laugh so hard.  I even caught Alison doing some of the stretches while playing this afternoon.

Eli attempted the stretches too, naturally with a snack in his hand.

 

They've also spent a lot of time pretending to be camping (in the pack n' play with a blanket over it and flash lights inside) and riding bikes in the garage.  A busy life, with a growing belly and 2 kids can be challenging and exhausting, but worth every minute. 

A Strawberry Blast

We were shocked to see our favorite farm was open for strawberry picking...doesn't it seem way too early?! But they were beautiful and we were a little over excited about them. Over excited, as in we bought 2 gallons of strawberries. Plus lots of strawberry ice cream to top off the morning.

Alison was really helpful this year...last year I took the kids by myself and Alison didn't want to get her hands dirty. This year, she jumped in and searched for the most perfect strawberry.

Eli was a little more helpful this year too. He was pretty good at instructing daddy which strawberries to pick-and the ones that didn't make the cut, well, he took care of those too.

Here's a look at our morning:


It was a beautiful morning and some great family time. And we've enjoys LOTS of strawberries with whipped cream, nutella, crepes and cereal.

When we got home from the patch, the neighbor kids invited Alison to help them with their lemonade stand. She made 2 whole dollars!

And when the ice cream truck came in the neighborhood later that afternoon, Alison asked if she could spend her hard earned money on a popsicle. Considering we had ice cream for lunch, it only made sense. So we stood by the curb, waving for the ice cream man (who was playing Christmas music...and I thought Michigan ice cream men were strange).


After Alison picked her Barbie creamsicle and the ice cream man drove away, I realized how much Eli is growing up...

He stood in that spot for a good 10 minutes waiting for the ice cream man to come back.
Whoops.
Poor boy was patiently waiting for his turn to pick a treat.
It breaks my heart. But really, would you spent $2 on a popsicle for a kid who would take one lick and be done?

In the Beginning of Potty Training

We began the process of potty training this week. I attempted to teach Eli to stand in front of the big potty, thinking it would eliminate several transitions. However, it quickly proved to be very frustrating for everyone in the house and resulted in lots of tears by Eliot and Mommy. I found that putting our "little potty" in a central location worked a lot better. He was much more comfortable to just sit and play, while he waited to go potty.Potty Training is lots of fun when you have a remote control car and a big sister to entertain you.

We had one really good day. He would stop himself every time he started to go in his underwear and would say, "Oh Uh! Potty!". He successfully went pee in the potty 4 times and acted like it was no big deal. I was encouraged by his amazing work and ability to recognize what he was feeling.

He was doing so well that we even went out to play...a very exciting thing after we'd been in the house for 2 days. Here he is, squashing a worm:
For some reason, he's started holding his neck when I ask him to look at me.
Strange, but super cute.

Alison took the opportunity to practice on her new roller skates.

It was also on this "good" potty training day that Eli locked me and Alison out of the house.
Boys!
Alison would never have done something like that!
A friend was dropping something off, so I stepped out on the porch to get it but I made Eli stay inside because he was naked. A few seconds later the door shut and Jamie asked, "Do you think there's anyway he could have locked that?" You see, Jamie has a son and praise the Lord she was there right then. Yes, he definitely locked that door and then proceeded to climb up in the window sill of the playroom and flash his naked booty for all the neighborhood to see. Thankfully, at that same moment, my neighbor was pulling in the driveway and Jamie went to ask for our spare key. Thank goodness for friends, neighbors and spare keys. Now it's time for a back-up emergency plan!
Playing dress up with Sissy

Day 3 of training came and we realized that poor Eli was a little "backed up" so we paused for a couple of days to get him back on track. To be honest, I forgot how much hard work potty training is for the mommy. Eli did great; however, I was beginning to have a nervous break down (pregnant hormones were not helping the situation). I remember Alison being easy to train, but I forgot the months of training that went into it...and the fact that she was the only kid in the house. It's a start and we'll slowly work on it as we can.

Surprise Baby's Shower

My sweet friends Jamie and Ashley hosted an amazing baby shower for me.
Amazing is an understatement. These 2 need to go into business! They thought of so many little details that would never even cross my mind.
It was a bow tie theme...Ashley made bow ties for everyone to wear and if you said 'baby' you had to give away your bow tie. Whoever had the most bow ties at the end, won. We even had bow tie cookies and pasta.
Jamie had everyone write encouraging notes to me that I can read when I'm up in the middle of the night. She also had everyone write down their addresses and had all my thank you notes ready to go. Maybe these are just shower standards, but it meant a lot to me.

Ashley even took the time to make little flags for each yummy cupcake

All the women of Hope were invited and I was overwhelmed by their love and generosity. The first people in the door were two women I haven't even met yet! They recently started coming to Hope and I've been meaning to meet them for months, but every week I would stuck in the nursery or something would come up and I would miss them. Anyway, I was blown away that they would come to a shower, bring a gift and even take pictures for me...for a person they hadn't even met! Now that to me is showing Christlike love and it convicted me. I don't think I would have their confidence, but I pray that I would be that kind of friend.

Gifts appeared from women who weren't even there.
One of my friends even had some onesies embroidered for us.

I confess I struggled with feeling guilty. I know that Jamie and Ashley put a LOT of time, work and even money into this shower. I know they sacrificed a lot for me and I felt guilty for having to replace everything for a 3rd child. But the evening was a wonderful time of fellowship and baby processing for me. Alright, I did slightly panic when we played a diaper bag game, and I realized how much I've forgotten about baby supplies. There were a couple of things that I didn't even know what they were-AND I HAVE 2 KIDS! They make all kinds of crazy things for babies these days!

My only request for the shower was a baby name suggestion jar. I think everyone had fun coming up with names and even joking about some funny ideas.
A favorite was: Sherman Sheldon Shear
Others were: William Tyler, Decklan, Colin, Gray, Bryce, Alexander, Aaron, Micah, Joel, Jackson, Jacob, Ethan, Caleb, Noah, Austin, Simon, David

I'm so thankful for wonderful friends and for new babies!
Now let the countdown begin for our baby name deadline:
T-minus 25 days
(that's for you Ben Shear)

Officer Training School

Ben has been given orders to attend Officer Training School in Newport, Rhode Island.
He leaves a month from today and will be gone for 5 weeks.
I will be 34-39 weeks pregnant.
He will be gone for Mother's Day, my 30th birthday and yes, possibly the birth of the baby.


Because of this, I've made our blog private...I just don't feel comfortable having the whole world know that I'm at home by myself and largely pregnant. And the purpose of this blog is for my documentation of our family life and I put enough personal information on it that it just makes sense. Plus, the personal information is just going to increase as I document the arrival of Surprise Baby.

I've also added a tab on our blog titled 'For Ben'. We don't know how much we'll be able to be in contact with one another, if at all. I wanted to make sure that Ben doesn't miss a moment of our kids lives, especially if #3 joins the family. I plan on posting daily for him, so if he ever has a chance, he can check in on us. I realize that I can't make that tab solely private and I know people will read it, but I ask that you respect our family privacy and not post any comments on that page.

When Ben was first given the information that he was eligible to be sent to this training, I was at peace with it. There was a chance he wouldn't be selected and there was even another chance that he wouldn't get funded to go. The door was wide open for God to shut it. I assured him we would be fine and that we just would need a plan. I'm good at planning. I love planning.
But the moment he said he was officially given orders, my brain shut down.
He told me to tell him what I wanted and he would make it happen.
Great, but my brain couldn't put together what I wanted.
All I could think was, "I don't know".
Every time I started to formulate a plan, it would fall through.
Ben started to get frustrated with me that I was being too picky or judgmental and didn't know how to help me. Then I realized why it was such a struggle.
What I want is my husband.
Nothing can replace that.
Nothing and no one can be the comfort that he is.
No one can take care of our kids like he does and no one knows me like he does.

Enjoying a family movie night, watching 'The Muppets' and eating M & M's

So what does this mean?
It means that our days are a little sweeter; a little more cherished.
It means we have a lot to get done in 4 weeks.
Ben is preaching the next 2 Sundays, has 2 seminary classes to finish, training to prepare for and work to prep for his leave.
I have to gather everything we need for a new baby, get a haircut and pedicure, potty train Eli, decide/plan/prepare/ for Alison's schooling next year, get the van inspected and an oil change, line up emergency babysitters, plan and grocery shop for 5 weeks of meals and figure out Alison's new booster seat situation.
Oh yeah, and WE HAVE TO PICK A NAME FOR THE BABY!

Eliot very excited to see his crib...and very sad when we told him it was for the new baby.

Honestly, I had great hesitations in writing this post. I put it off for a long time. There are still a lot of people I haven't even told. Why? Because my greatest struggle with this has been with people's reactions. I have been shocked and caught off guard...it definitely was not the challenge I anticipated facing. I can handle Ben being gone for 5 weeks. I can handle taking care of our kids by myself. The anxiety of having a Surprise Baby some time in the next 10 weeks would be present even if Ben was home. But for some reason, dealing with others comments has been too much.
Most are thinking, "Well, that was a dumb decision. Sucks for you."
Others think, "Jen! You should have controlled your husband and not let him go or even let him go into the Military!"
And then there's the large majority that think, "Well, that's the life you signed up for. Suck it up."

Did we plan to have a third baby? No.
Did we plan for Ben to be gone? No.
We were originally told nothing would be happening until January.
Would we have chosen this? No.

I may not know much, but here's what I do know.
I love Ben immensely and he has been called by God to Ministry.
I am called as his wife to be a helper, encourager and supporter.
We are all called to pick up our cross and follow Christ wherever He leads us and with that requires daily sacrifice.
God cannot be put in a box and I cannot limit what he can and will do in our life.
Who am I to stop God's work in my husband's life?
I am not the God of my husband and who am I to control him?
I know that Ben loves me and wants to provide and take care of me to the best of his ability.
I know that my Savior loves me and wants to bless me.
I know this will be hard, but it will be good.
I've already seen blessing. I've already seen our relationship strengthen and deepen. I've seen the Lord give us a peace that only comes from Him.

Right now our "Operation Baby" plan is this:
We will line up emergency babysitters for Alison and Eliot.
Lord willing, Rachel and the girls will come stay with me week 4 and
my sister will come week 5.

Other than that, our plan is to PRAY. Pray for strength and for comfort. Pray for a healthy baby and a quick recovery. Pray for safety for Ben. Pray that Alison and Eliot would adjust and feel secure through the next few months. Pray for good sleep, as I've found I'm the most emotional when I'm tired. Pray that we would rest in the everlasting arms of Christ.

Happy 2nd Birthday Eliot!

Happy Birthday Eliot James!

I will never forget the day you were born and what a wonderful 2 years it's been since then.

I love 2. I love that a $5 bouncy ball is all that is needed for complete joy in a little boys life. I love the simplicity, the giggles and excitement of the stage.

I had planned a fun little party at a local farm for today. We were going to meet some friends there and enjoy playing and eating cupcakes. However, the weather changed on me and it was way too cold for a day at the farm. I moved the party to our house and then I woke up feeling horrible. I had to cancel the party...who cancels their son's party? I felt terrible! Thankfully, he's 2 and had no idea what was going on, but I still felt terrible. So instead of partying we:

Had blueberry muffins and sausage for breakfast

Opened a few more presents

Ate some cupcakes and blew out the candle at least 10 times.

And at this point mommy learned that little boys need aprons too.
I thought it would be fun to let Eli help me mix the frosting.
My brain must have been foggy...before I knew it he had chocolate ALL over his cute white birthday shirt. Which by the way, a HUGE thank you goes to my good friend Andrea who saves me every birthday and makes my kid's birthday shirts. And for that matter, thank you Jamie for all the decorations and to the grandparents for the presents. Pretty much, it's all thanks to you guys that Eliot had a birthday celebration. Maybe next year we'll actually get our act together around here.

Anyway, back to our day...I washed the birthday shirt while Eliot took a nap and then we were off to the Ice Cream Parlor.

They give out free ice cream sundaes on birthdays and we thought it would be fun just to get dinner there too. Plus, this pregnant and sick mommy didn't feel like cooking (did you catch that we had cupcakes for lunch?).

It was not the day I had planned, but it was still a sweet day of playing and snuggling and reading books and eating way too many sweets. Let's look at the positive side, at least I haven't set a high expectation on birthdays that I have to top each year. Some day we will have a real birthday party, but in reality, I enjoy quiet family birthdays much more.

A Transition for Mommy

As the debate and search for a name for Surprise Baby continues, it has made us think more and more about Alison and Eliot's names. Whatever we choose has to blend with theirs...I mean shouting, "Alison, Eliot and Sebastian!" just sounds silly. Yes, joking about silly names has also been common around here.

The debate has also made me realize how much it bothers Alison that I call Eliot, Eli. Ben, Alison and pretty much our entire extended family calls him Eliot. I call him Eli and therefore, most of my friends call him Eli. But anytime I introduce him to someone, Alison corrects me. She'll often say, "You mean Eliot" or "His name is Eliot" and up until now I took it as her being snotty and would give her a "chat" about being respectful. But the other day I realized she was entitled to feelings too, and asked her if it really bothered her that I called him Eli and if it would make her happy if I called him Eliot, like her and Daddy. "YES!" she exclaimed and went running to Ben to tell him the good news.

So for Mommy's transition, I am working hard on calling my son Eliot. I will still call him Eli occasionally, because I'm his mommy and I get that right. But for the unity of our little family, I have promised my little girl to work on introducing him as Eliot. I still can't believe how hard naming children is for me and Ben!

Easter 2012

We enjoyed a beautiful Easter service this morning as a family.
I know I say this every year, but I love being married to the person in charge of the music, because I know we'll sing my favorite songs. It took everything in my not to start jumping around with Alison as we sung "Up from the grave he arose!"
Alright, the giant baby in my belly might have helped hold me in my seat too, but I still enjoyed singing with my little girl.

After church we had a light lunch and found Easter baskets.

I confess I have a deep love for Easter baskets. They are for me, what Christmas stockings are for Ben. It took Eliot all of 10 seconds to start eating the candy, while Alison carefully analyzed each item before digging in.


Our friends Tim, Abby, Alex and Avery joined us for the afternoon for our 3rd annual Easter together. The kids had fun playing, going on an Easter egg hunt and eating peeps.

While the men talked and the kids' played, Abby and I enjoyed an afternoon in the living room relaxing. Surprise Baby is on another growth spurt and Abby was feeding Avery-it was a perfect combination for some good time to chat and catch up. I wonder if we'll ever have an Easter where one of us is not pregnant or nursing.

I learned my lesson from last year and dinner consisted of easy, made ahead food. Totally worth it and still very yummy: ham, potatoes, green beans and zwiebach.
I was so thankful for a beautiful spring day and time with good friends. It was a great day to stop and be thankful for all the things Christ has done for me.

A Historic Event

My dad came to visit us this past week!
My mom was supposed to join him, but unfortunately got sick at the last minute and wasn't able to come. The doctor suspects she has shingles and can't be around kids or pregnant women for several weeks-which would pretty much sum up this house.

Time with my dad was a very sweet thing for me.
As an adult, most of the time I get with him is full of other people and events.
But there were no conference calls, emails to return, boat runs to make or fishing trips.
It was just us and some sweet family time.


The first day, my dad took Ben and Alison on a shopping extravaganza.
They were perhaps the happiest people on the face of the planet. Let's just say, Ben got some new hunting supplies and Alison won herself a whole new wardrobe, lunch at Chick-fil-A and a bag of gummy worms.

I had asked my dad if he could help us with some yard work when he was here.
I was thinking fun things like planting pretty flowers and herbs, but it was much too cold and a little too early for my plans. But, he was able to help Ben cut down some trees, remove some stumps and trim up all the bushes.


He also treated the kids to a lunchable picnic, spent lots of time playing outside and games with them, gave baths, told them stories, helped us make a baby name list and gave us a crash course on Dave Ramsey. There was LOTS of gun, fishing and basketball talk and a little pingpong in there too.

Alison's trying to spice up Grandpa's fishing story

I know I will forever cherish this time we had.
I'm sorry my mom was sick, but it was a blessing to still have some time with Grandpa.
Hopefully we'll get some again when Surprise Baby is born!

28 Weeks, Hello Third Trimester

We like to keep it real, here at the Shear house.
This is how it really it is to be pregnant with a third child:
And this is how you would see me most of the day.
With one kid sitting on the bump and the other leaning against the front, this Surprise Baby won't know what to do with himself without being squashed when he's born.

This picture also proves how much Surprise Baby went on a growth spurt.
It surely explains all of the aches and pains I've been feeling.
I definitely missed the second trimester "I feel amazing and have lots of energy", but it's kind of exciting that the end is closer in sight.
I'm back to measuring a week behind schedule, which actually is reassuring to me. The thought of delivering a large baby is not a pleasant one.